The Trials and Tribulations of Move-out.

Now, we all know that Quest is gorgeous inside and out all year round- especially when the beautiful souls of one’s peers and friends walk these halls and rooms. Yet despite the undeniable physical and social beauty of Quest, there are times when things can be less than idealistic. These times include the dreaded third week of block: a caffeine induced delirious haze of hyperventilating and typing where night blurs into day and day into night. Then there is the classic “I-missed-my-bus-and-am-now-stuck-down-the-hill” routine, often ending in a grueling and sticky walk up the steep Highlands Way back to Quest: but more often than not, a sad and desperate call to one’s car owning roommate (we all have one). Heaven forbid you are ever in the middle of a laundry rush, and are forced to relocate other peoples’ laundry whilst you load your own into the machine, hoping they don’t walk in to find you handling a pair of their underwear. Then there’s the occasional bear run in, which if anything will leave you rattling at the knees, though the bears might be more rattled than you and wont a have a cool story to tell their friends like you will.

But of all these trials and tribulations, none demands more anguish and torment from the human spirit than the dreaded end of the year move-out. This exhausting and debilitating challenge is not made any easier by the post Dancing Bear Festival blues or the creeping thought that soon your friends will part ways with you for the summer. Now, I like to better come to terms with the horrors of move-out by dividing it into a few stages, which are listed below:

  • Denial
  • Crippling Acceptance (Buying boxes)
  • Procrastination
  • Packing personal items
  • Sweeping, vacuuming and mopping (in that order)
  • Procrastination
  • Cleaning out your washroom (Helfand’s beard, have mercy…)
  • Procrastination
  • Cleaning out your fridge (“This kambucha’s been here since October, help me.”)
  • Sweeping the counter tops
  • Buying a meal for that roommate whose car you’re using to transport all this stuff
  • Sitting in the corner of your now shiny-clean and empty home/not-so-shiny storage locker
  • Procrastination
  • Denial

Typically student will move their baggage to one of the few storage company options in Squamish. Black Tusk storage is particularly popular as it comes up to campus in a huge truck that can pick up your luggage there and then. I personally have been staying over in Squamish these past two summers, so I’ve just had to move things into my new home. This is a dangerous option to pursue, however, for as soon as word gets around that you are staying here over the summer you might be flooded by pleading requests to hold onto a small trinket or two. There is nothing wrong with holding onto a small trinket, of course, the problem is holding onto 17 of them- especially when the small trinkets can actually prove a lot heavier than what a trinket should legally be. It was only months after I moved into my summer residence that I realized I could actually have been charging people a small rent fee; it wouldn’t have been much but it might’ve covered a meal or two… curse my non-entrepreneurial mind!

Now, move-out is a time where humans can be reduced to their most primal state. Don’t believe me? Picture a caveman- dishevelled matted hair, a perma-grumpy look, caked in dirt and able to only talk in grunts. Now imagine this caveman happened upon a hoodie and some Birkenstocks. You are now imagining a student during move-out. And just as the invention of the wheel changed life for the caveman, so it can lift a heavy burden of a student’s shoulders- literally and also metaphorically. The wheel is a blessing that comes in various shapes and sizes; in its smallest manifestation it is a skateboard. Not only are skateboards fun to have around for move-out procrastination breaks, but they are also excellent, and this is true, for transporting heavy things of small dimensions. Mini-fridges are the first thing that come to mind. In perhaps their most useful incarnation, wheels come in the form of automobiles and may be used to pile up and transport all of one’s life in two trips.

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The shopping-cart, a savior during move-out season.

Finally, you will eventually find yourself at your new residence, catatonic over your febreeze-smelling new couch and surrounded by a heap of your unsorted bed sheets and semi-dirty laundry. And the blissful, mysterious luxury of sleep shall finally stop trying to evade you, slowly percolating into your bone-dry eyes. But wait! Before you can hope to sleep, you’re going to have to dig up all that bedding you need from this big pile to the left of you, and let’s not forget your toiletries and phone charger in that pile to the right. You see friend, the struggle has just begun. Whilst move-out involved only relocating into a new heap in your new house, move-in requires all that in addition to unpacking, folding, laundry, and debating with your roommates as to who gets the master bedroom. It’s not all that bad though, at least you don’t have a deadline! If you don’t want the master bedroom, that is…

IMG_20160822_102509054The work has just begun.

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